I was hesitant to write about this, but I think I need it.
I lost my grandmother in April and I’ve been struggling to cope with it. Since March, I’ve been on medication to manage my depression and anxiety, but lately they feel useless- even after increasing the dose- because I have been very depressed lately and I’ve been hiding in work to avoid feeling. I don’t do well with handling negative emotions of any kind, even though I know that they are healthy and need to be resolved, I just repress them. My need to avoid this all has held me back in writing because I have characters dealing with grief, but I know that I can’t keep this up.
Yesterday, I cried in front of my boss because I was realizing just how much grief has been affecting me. It was the first time I really cried about it, because of how much I repress- crying just unleashes it all, which happened. So, now I’m trying to force myself to sit with my feelings and work through them, but I’m not sure how much this will help. I feel really stuck, because all I want to do is write, but I’m scared to.
So, to the point of me writing this, I need some positive vibes and support. I’m going to try and write with my grief and work through it with my WIP. It’s immensely terrifying to me to do this. I usually don’t ever write anything so personal- I actually write to mostly avoid real life situation/emotions- but I know that it will only make me a better writer. I need to grow and improve, and I need to confront my own feelings.
Wish me luck and thanks for reading. ❤ ❤
If you have any experience with writing through grief and would like to offer me some advice, I’d appreciate it very much. ❤
(My grandma loved Winnie the Pooh and had a collection of Winnie the Pooh stuffies all over her house. For my keepsake, I chose a teddy bear pendant to hold some of her ashes in it as a tribute to that.)